I have been using all my free time to work on writing a book. After many years of thinking writing would be something I would like to attempt to do, the idea for my book became so clear to me the other day that I just started writing and haven't exactly stopped since!
So, to any of you who check in from time to time, excuse my absense please. I will share more as I feel comfortable. But if anyone reading this has any experience with book writing, feel free to share. I would love to hear it.
Yeah, I know, life is full of interruptions...except that I think someone may have ordered more than the normal amount for me. When I blogged back in September/October, I seemed to have plenty of time to write something most days. But now, it seems like everything I attempt to do gets only half done, because of all the stinking interruptions!
Seriously, I can't even use the bathroom without at least one child, dog or cat accompanying me. It doesn't matter if I shut and lock the door, they will pound on it until I can take no more, and let them in. I don't like trying to poop with company!...but, I have learned to adjust.
I attempt to clean something, only to get distracted by something I find along the way, someone getting bit, someone needing a new diaper, the phone ringing, etc...and then, three days later, when my husband asks me if I am ever going to clean off the kitchen counter, I am interrupted by a child asking me for a juice cup before I can answer him! It is nuts...really.
It took me all morning to wear the two little ones out enough so they would nap, and then I attempted a shower. (A much needed shower, mind you!) But, that too, was interrupted because Gianna decided she needed to sing, at the top of her lungs, and that was the end of Gracie's nap. So, my shower was half assed, my hair never got dried and I may or may not be wearing underwear. Instead of the peaceful shower I was hoping for, I threw some clothes on and decided to fill up the kids swimming pool and let them play. I got it half way filled before I realized it was filling completely unevenly, because it was on too much of an incline. Yes, I realize I should have taken note to this fact before I started filling it, but my mind doesn't work well these days! I filled it anyway...who cares. As I was trying to turn the hose off, I dropped the phone down the, erm, "hose hole area?"...(well, we have an area cut out in our deck and you have to remove the wood to reach in and turn the hose on and off, if that makes sense?) Of course the phone started ringing as soon as I dropped it down there. Come to think of it, I still haven't checked to see who was calling, but I am pretty sure it wasn't Ed Mc Mann calling to tell me I won the lottery! Before I could get the phone out, the girl's were carrying on for me to get their bathing suits on so the could go play, so I stopped what I was doing and helped them. Off they went to their pool. I grabbed the tongs from the grill, got down on my hands and knees and fished the phone out of the hose hole area. Feeling content for a second, I sat down and lit a cigarette. I glanced over at the girls playing in their pool happily, and was hit on the nose with a raindrop. I shook my head, and tried to convince myself it was nothing...bug pee, bird shit...I really didn't care! Just not rain. Not my luck, however, as the massive downpour began. My kids were screaming because they didn't give a rats ass if it was raining, they were getting their pool on! I had to drag them in the house, collect up all the stuff I had brought outside with me before it was thoroughly soaked and then undress them from their soaking wet bathing suits. 30% chance of showers my ass!
I am getting interrupted right this moment by an eyelash that decided to make its way into my eye ball, causing me just enough discomfort to piss me the hell off. My entire weekend was interrupted thanks to our mortgage company, who decided on Friday, to inform us they would be sending someone out at 9am Monday morning to appraise our home. So, instead of doing fun things with our children, much of our weekend was consumed trying to clean and fix things that needed to be done around the house before this ya-hoo came out. I went to bed, exhausted, Sunday evening. My sleep was interrupted several times throughout the night because Emma didn't want to go to bed, and Gracie ended up with a fever in the middle of the night. So, when I woke up Monday morning, as my children continued to sleep peacefully, to wait for the appraiser man to arrive...I was more than pissed when 9 o'clock passed, 9:30 passed, 10 o'clock passed, 10:30 passed and finally, I asked my husband to call and find out what the hell was going on. Our lovely mortgage company kindly informed him that the appraisal was no longer needed because they did an auto one instead. Are.You.Fucking.Kidding.Me.
I am in dire need of a vacation, without children. Just 24 hours of peace is all I am asking for! No interruptions, just a nice, calm environment with a beach, some drinks with umbrellas in them and a doctor to preform liposuction before I leave! That's surely not too much to ask for??
I used to be really good at "blogging." Well, maybe not good at it, but good about it! I always had something to write, eh-hem, complain about! I am not sure if I am suffering writers block, living a more boring life or just don't have the time to write as often these days. I think about posting a new blog, everyday...but I just can't come up with anything to write about. Or, I have a ton of good ideas in my mind and when I sit down to post, I can't remember any of them. Of course I have facebook and my latest "True Blood" addiction to keep me busy.
My Dad is suffering greatly from 3 herniated discs in his cervical spine. Medication isn't helping, chiropractic care isn't helping, anti-inflammatories aren't helping, rest doesn't help...it seems nothing is working for him. He is also scheduled to have brain surgery a week from tomorrow. He hasa tumor on his pituitary gland that isn't responding to medication, so, they need to remove it. My Dad is an otherwise healthy, 64 year old man. He has always been fairly active, in good shape, an avid golfer and very involved in his children's lives. Recently, he has been staying in bed because the pain is so bad. A few days ago, he called his primary care physician to ask for something for the pain. Mind you, my Father has never asked for pain medication, nor is he a complainer. The doctor had the receptionist call him back and tell him to go see an orthopedic surgeon. Oh, okay then...you fucking dip shit. Yeah, because you can just pick one of them out of the phone book and get an appointment for sometime later that afternoon! How insulting, negligent and cruel. Sometimes, I really hate doctors.
He ended up going to the emergency room a couple days later. The doctor there didn't even bother to lay a hand on him! He gave him a pamphlet of information on herniated discs and a script for Vicodin. Uh-huh...our health care system is fabulous! As mentioned above, the Vicodin don't work. Neither does the Flexeril, the 750mg of Relafin he is taking twice a day or the Percocet. He went back to his doctor this morning to ask for an MRI, they told him they would call him once the referral was ready and refilled his Vicodin script. Seriously, I would like to unleash the fury on someone.
I worry about other people, a lot. It often consumes me actually. Right now, it seems like most everyone in my life has something going on that I am worried about. Well, maybe not worried...but thinking about, or something. My mind is all fucking filled up! That's what I am trying to say. On top of my worries, for other people, I have my own worries about my children, my job that has canceled quite a few of my shifts lately due to a low census, money, my dirty house, starting school in the fall, the future, the lump on my dogs head, whether or not I have cancer, etc. Seriously, I need a vacation. Only it would really be a vacation because I have three small children that require A LOT of time and attention. Perhaps, I need a vacation and a nanny! That sounds pretty good to me. A beach, a good book, the sound of the waves, a fruity drink, a nanny and no stress! Oh, and a tummy tuck and a little liposuction prior to leaving, of course.
I don't suppose this post really has a point. I just wanted to complain a little, and let everyone know that I am well aware of the fact that my blog SUCKS these days! I am working on it, really.
I often think about my life, and all the crap I complain about on a daily basis. Headaches, backaches, sick kids, work, money, stress, cooking, cleaning, etc...I do my share of bitching about these things that we all deal with at some point. Some days, it seems like my life is spinning out of control. Some days I want to rip my hair out, run for the hills (where ever they may be!) and be care-free. And then, there are days that make me appreciate all that I have in my life. Today was one of those days.
I had to work today. My alarm beeped way too early, and while everyone else in the house remained asleep, I got up, brushed my teeth, put my makeup on, got dressed and left for work. I was sort of excited for the drive there because I burned a new CD last night, and was able to listen to it all by myself in the car...as loud as I wanted to. I could also sing along without worrying I would offend anyone! I worked with a friend today, another reason work didn't seem too bad. And you, not to mention that I get paid for it! Yet, somewhere, in the back of my mind, I was wishing I was still snuggled in bed...in Hawaii!
One of my patients today is actively dying. By actively dying, I mean her body is literally shutting down, she is pretty much unresponsive and has a fever. I took care of this women last Friday as well, and she was able to speak to me and enjoy music that a kind gentleman from her hospice provider played for her. Her entire family arrived this morning to be by her bedside, including her grandson, who was supposed to graduate from college today. This woman hasn't eaten food for a long time, her nutrition provided through a tube feeding...but today, even that was stopped. I gave her medication for pain and anxiety, put her "favorite" CD on for her, repositioned her for comfort and said a prayer for her. One of the hardest parts about being a nurse is knowing that there are times when there is little you can do to help a person.
Another one of my patients lost her husband last week. They would have been married 75 years in July! Seventy-five years!! Wow. They shared a room together, separate beds, yet side by side. She sat and did her "Word Finds" and he frequently napped, read and watched tv. I sat down with her for a while today, and talked with her about how she was doing since her husband's passing. She cried, she smiled, she laughed and she shared memories of her life with me.
This brave woman told me that when she was just 3 years old, her mother got sick with Tuberculosis and died. The same year that her mother passed away, FOUR of her siblings died from the flu. Hearing about the tragic events in her life in just 3 short years was enough to make my heart break for her...but she went on. Her baby sister was adopted by a lady who helped to take care of them, and her older brother stayed with her father. She was sent to orphanage after orphanage, bounced from home to home. When she was 9, she was taken in by a couple who, she said, had 5 children that died in Italy. She went on to tell me how mean this woman was to her. Her adoptive mother would beat her, verbally abuse her, tried to force her to change her last name...her identity, her past, her mother and father. She said her father came to visit her once and she told him what was happening to her, but he left her there anyway. She told me about her friend across the street, the days they spent playing together and how she met her husband. She was 14 and he was 20. They married two years later and started their new life together.
They had children, 5 of them, and the story started to sound like it had a happy ending. Then, she told me about her youngest daughter getting cancer, losing her leg, walking with a wooden leg for a year only to have the cancer return and take her life. She told me about her other daughter, who religiously visits her mother, and father before he passed, every single day, and how her husband recently died of cancer. She told me she wasn't able to go to her husbands funeral because she cannot get in and out of bed without the help of a mechanical lift. She cried and I held her hand. She told me her husband loved to coach the kids baseball and football teams when they were younger, and that a "boy" he coached stayed in touch with him throughout his life, and spoke at his funeral. The "boy", now a grown man, referred to my patient's husband as his "other father" and told everyone how wonderfully he treated him and how special he was. I am glad she has that memory to hold on to.
She thanked me for talking with her, apologized for taking up so much of my time and smiled as if a weight were lifted off her chest. I told her it was my pleasure to listen to her, thanked her for sharing her life with me and smiled back, happy I was able to be a part of it. As bittersweet as it was, making a difference in a person's life is the most rewarding part of nursing, and the reason I do what I do. Being a nurse is more than just giving medication, taking doctor's orders and helping to save lives...it is also about caring about the person inside the chart. It is about listening to the voice in room 324, bed B. It is about putting yourself in someone else's shoes, just for a moment, and treat them as you would want to be treated. Room 324, bed B has a whole lifetime of happiness and sorrow that comes along with her...she is so much more than just a patient and she helped me put some things in perspective.
Yes, I had to get up early to go to work...so what! I am alive, healthy (I hope!), have 3 wonderful little girls, a great husband and a loving family.
Yes, said husband was in a car accident this afternoon...but so what! He is ok. Yeah, we will have to pay our deductible to have the car fixed, but no one died, no one was beaten or verbally abused.
Yes, I got canceled for a shift I was scheduled to work next Tuesday...but really, will I remember that in a few months? I still have a home, a car, cable television and food in the pantry!
Yes, I came home to 3 filthy children (and I mean filthy!) ...Oh well. I have a bath tub to wash them in, they are all alive and well and I am physically able to bathe my children. What is there to complain about?
Yes, I just went to get myself a diet coke out of the refrigerator, and realized my mother-in-law drank the last one. Ok, who the fuck drinks someone's last soda? Yes, this one I am pissed about! Bitch even left the empty soda pack on the shelf, in the fridge. Better go check my underwear drawer!
Anyway, my point is, someone always has it worse than you. Today, I appreciate what I have in my life a little more. Today, I hugged my babies a little tighter, rocked them a little longer and kissed them a lot more. Today, I called my parents (wait, who am I kidding, I do that everyday anyway!)...I didn't get upset over stupid things my wonderful husband does that drive me bat shit and I even forgave which ever cat took a dump in my hallway (little bastard!) Ok, maybe I am holding on to the cat shit a little...but not as much as my mother-in-law creepin' on my last diet coke!
Whatever...just stop whining and live. Live now, because tomorrow, it may be gone.
For the record, although 7 Pounds was a great movie, it was rather depressing. Kinda wish I would have gone with a comedy!
20) I hate abbreviated words, seriously, they drive me ape shit! Mayo, hamburg, kraut, delish, cigs, etc. Cannot stand them! There are also other words that I have a serious issue with, such as...blouse, trousers, dungarees, slacks, purse, panties, fart and c*nt...just to name a few. Sometimes, I want to throw up a little in my mouth after hearing them.
21) I have watched the movie "Knocked Up" about 130 times, and will continue to watch it any time I see it on the tv. Something about it makes me happy and I do not have the will power to turn it off. I am sort of the same way, only to a lesser degree, with "You've got Mail" "Miss Congeniality" and "Jerry McGuire." I am well aware that there may be something wrong with me.
22) I am a gun owner, licensed, of course. I learned how to shoot a gun many years ago by my boyfriend at the time, who was an ex-Marine. I learned that I was a pretty good shot, and enjoyed doing it. It is a good stress reliever and an adrenaline rush. My husband had two guns when we met, and I aquired my first gun a few months ago. Of course, we are very responsible, keep them locked in a pass code protected safe and never within reach of the children. But, this day and age...I think it is a pretty good idea for people to learn to use a gun, and responsibly own one. You just never know.
23) I curse too much. No, not around my children! My husband hates it when I curse and says I talk like a man. I don't fucking care :) Of course, I conduct myself very well in public...it's not like I want into a patients room and say "Dude, please take your dick out, it's time to put your fucking catheter in!" I enjoy profanity...so long as it isn't abbreviated!
24) I really, really wish I could sing. I have always wanted to be a singer, yet when performing for my children, my husband or my cats...I always fail miserably! My voice is pretty bad.
25) Music is my passion in life. I enjoy driving in the car without the kids because I can turn the music up loud and sing along, with my horrible voice! My i-pod has helped me to fall asleep too many nights to count. Music takes me anywhere I need to go. It eases my mind and makes my worries go away temporarily. I love concerts as well. Watching a good concert gives me chills down my spine and touches my soul in a way nothing else can. I don't think I will ever outgrow watching live music and am glad I have 3 children to use as an excuse to continue going as I get older!
26) I love the rain, especially a good thunderstorm (as long as we don't lose power!) Listening to the rain falling is very calming to me. I actually get excited if I know it is supposed to rain at night because I know I can crack the window, get under the covers and fall asleep listening to the rain fall.
27) I also love the beach, even more than I love the rain! The smell, the sound of the waves, the atmosphere...I love everything about it. We go every year the week of our wedding anniversary. It is tough with the three little ones, but well worth it!
28) I HATE to cook. I suck at it, it isn't interesting or fun for me and it generally doesn't taste all that good! I try, but I never seem to get much better. My Mom and sister are fabulous cooks, and I am not sure why I missed out on that gene! I am jealous of people who enjoy cooking and are always making some yummy sounding meal for their family. I pretty much cook the same things over and over, and they are nothing worth telling anyone about.
29) It is pretty hard to come up with 33 things about myself, though, I did just realize that the weather channel is on again, and has been for quite some time.
30) I cannot stand to not have a bra on. I even sleep with it on because the feeling of my boobs touching my skin totally grosses me out. Ew. I am either going to need to get implants and a good lift, or deal with wearing a bra for the rest of my life!
31) I also cannot stand wet hair touching me after I shower, makes my blood run cold. I have to keep my hair in a towel until I have my shirt on, then I can let in down. Same thing with wet clothes, if I get caught in the rain and have to deal with wet clothes...I want to vomit the entire time they are on my body. And for the record, I have never failed a psychiatric exam!
32) Right now, I have cramps. I hate cramps and think that men should have something equivalent to them each month. Lucky fuckers.
33) I have pretty much no clue what else to say. I am hungry, sorta tired and want to go watch General Hospital. Guess this post turned out to be pretty lame. Will try again tomorrow...maybe.
1) Right now I am extremely bored and impatient, waiting for my husband to get done his cigar, so we can watch 7 Pounds. I also hate the smell of cigars.
2) This morning, while closing the dishwasher with my knee, I pinched the nasty roll of fat that I have on my stomach in the dishwasher door. Sideways. Pretty much, this was one of the grossest and most embarrassing things that has ever happened to me...and here I am telling all of you. It hurt, really bad...and is still more than very sore.
3) In the past 5 months, I have lost 53 pounds. But um, considering I gained, well, almost 100 pounds after having 3 children, I still have a lot to go. However, once I lose the rest of the weight I am aiming for, if the vajomach skin is still there, I am getting a tummy tuck! Seriously, no one should ever have to pinch their fat in the dishwasher...ever. Really.
4) I have been watching the weather channel for over 2 hours now. The music drives me ape-shit, but I just am too lazy to turn it off. If anyone needs to know about local airport delays, local weather or wants a play-by-play of the local doppler radar...I am your girl.
5) I cannot go to sleep without socks on. Ever. I am terrified that the foot monster will get my feet if I don't have my socks on to protect me. I have never seen the foot monster, but only because I always wear my socks to bed to ward him off. I am a super smart 33 year old! (And for the record, none of my kids will sleep with socks on. They are so brave.)
6) I have 5 cats, 1 dog, 1 African Grey parrot, 1 goldfish, 3 daughters and a husband. Only my husband and one of the cats are male, well, maybe the goldfish too, but he/she doesn't really count. My point being, males are way out numbered in my home.
7) I am a nurse, and while I LOVE the nursing profession, I have lost my passion for working with the elderly. It takes a toll on you to work constantly with people at the end of their lives, and as rewarding as it has been for me in many ways, I look forward to moving into a different area in nursing that I truly enjoy.
8) I am returning to school in the fall to complete my Bachelor's in Nursing. I am very excited about it and looking forward to the changes it will bring to my life. I was a straight A student when I went to nursing school, and hope I can continue on that path!
9) I saw a man at Target today, standing outside the passenger side of his minivan, screaming at the top of his lungs at his little boy. Actually, I was putting my daughter in her car seat, and heard the yelling. I asked my husband what it was, and he didn't see anything. When I walked around the car to check it out myself, and witnessed the piece of shit standing there, abusing his little boy (who was only a few years old, and crying his eyes out)...and the mother was sitting in the drivers seat, not saying a word...yes, I did stand right there in the middle of the parking lot, staring right at them, while taking the tags off the new flip flops I had just bought. And then, yes, I did continue to stand there as the man got in the car and they drove right by me, looking at me like I interrupted their steak and lobster dinner. And yes, even though I was a little frightened I might get shot, I still stood there watching them like the evil people they were, and then wrote down their license plate number. My heart breaks for that little boy, and I will never understand why people treat their children with such hate. He could have a good home, with parents who love him if his biological parents are too fucking stupid to care and love him themselves. I hate them.
10) My middle name is Faith.
11) My husband is sabotaging my attempts at winning a family weight loss competition by forcing Rita's Water Ice on me. I tell him no several times, but he asks me again and again, until my weakness gets the best of me. There is money involved in this competition, and he wants to beat me, I know it!
12) After not smoking for almost 3 years, with the exception of a few weeks, in between my second and third children, I started smoking again a few months ago. I am a huge jackass, and need to quit. Not to mention cigarettes have gone up about two dollars in price since I last smoked. Prior to quitting a few years ago, I had smoked since I was 13 years old.
13) I am a raging hypochondriac. All the more reason to quit smoking, as I have had lung cancer about 57 times in my life. I have also had brain tumors, ovarian cancer, mouth and throat cancer, heart attacks, blood clots and spotted mountain rocky fever, twice.
14) I love to write, and often wish I would put the time and effort into writing a book of some sort. Damn me for not coming up with Twilight before that other lady did! Maybe someday.
15) I am terrified to fly. I have done it, several times, Peurto Rico, Jamaica, Florida, Myrtle Beach. Each time I fly, my anxiety gets worse and worse and the last time I flew, not only did I make the flight attendant sit with me just about the entire time, but the pilot actually congratulated me over the intercom once we landed. My family was slightly embarrassed, but, the certificate the US Air attendant handed me on my way off the plane made it all worth while!
16) I find washing clothes oddly therapeutic. I do wash daily, fold them and then never put them away! Well, obviously I do put them away at some point, but only after I run out of baskets to put the dirty clothes in!
17) I am deathly afraid of spiders. I have a real problem with killing bugs, or any other living thing...but spiders are in a while different ball game. While I do feel bad after smashing them, I am too afraid of them to let them live. I always apologize to them, however, and hope they are living happily in spider heaven.
18) My brother was killed by a drunk driver 10 years ago, he was 20. My brother was my best friend in the world, a kind and gentle soul and an asset to everyone who had the privilege of knowing him. The asshole that killed him got off with only two years in jail. Not a day goes by that I don't miss my dear brother from the depths of my soul and wish with all my heart that he was still here with us. He is my inspiration for many things, the wind beneath my wings and my fondest memory. I hope and pray that there is life after life, so I can see him again someday.
19) Sometimes I consume myself with worry about dying. I guess that goes hand and hand with the hypochondriasis!? Quite simply, I want to live to be 100 or so, with sound memory, the ability to walk and talk, and all of my limbs and organs. (Unless it is the appendix, or my tonsils or something else I don't need.) I also hope I don't have to take a million pills each day, as it takes me about 45 minutes to swallow one Tylenol! I don't want to leave my children without a Mother, I don't want to die young and I would like my family to live to ripe old ages as well. I struggle with my personal beliefs often, and I wish I was more comfortable with what I believe in. I used to have a very good relationship with our "creator", but had a mini breakdown, of sorts, a few years back, and questioned much of what I believe in. While I find it most convincing to believe in a creator, or higher power, of some sort, I do not believe in organized religion or groups that tell you how to live your life. I hope I can continue to grow personally and spiritually and feel more comfortable as time goes on.
I was going to make this 33 things about me, since I am 33 years old...but, I am trying to watch this movie and type at the same time...and it isn't working out so well, so part two will have to wait :)
So, we were sitting out back on the deck this evening, enjoying the nice weather. The girls, well, Gracie and Gianna, were playing on the play set, and Emma was playing nicely in the pack and play. I was talking to my husband when I noticed someone walk by the front window. I got up to see who it was. No one was at the front door, so I went back out to the deck. I returned to find the little boy who lives across the street opening up the back gate and heading on in, uninvited.
Ok, not that I mind visitors, at all. My girlfriend brought her daughter over this afternoon and the kids had a great time playing while we sat outback with them. The difference is, she is a well behaved child, with a Mother who watches her. Neighbor boy is eight years old, and a hellion, to put it nicely! He has only come over once before, and that wasn't a pleasant experience! Not only does he misbehave, but you can't get rid of him either. I am not kidding, he is worse than hemorrhoid's!
Alright so, my husband looks at me as neighbor heads into the backyard, looking right at home...and says "who the hell is that?" I tell him it is neighbor boy, and he looks at me with the same expression I had a minute earlier. Neighbor boy marches up to the deck, starts playing with the dog and ignores us asking him how he is doing. For a moment, I thought I was in the twilight zone! Gianna goes back to play on the play set, and without a word, he followed her. Immediately, he starts taunting her... "I can swing higher than you can!"...I bet you can't do this" etc. Gianna gets off the swing and climbs to the playhouse part of the play set. Neighbor boy follows, of course! He starts jumping all around like a madman, and I look at my husband wondering what will happen to our home owners when he falls off and breaks his neck!
Gianna quickly got bored with watching neighbor jump around aimlessly on her play set, so she traveled into the yard to play wiffle ball. Now, she is only four years old, but she can hit pretty damn good for a little girl. Within minutes, neighbor boy was there to tease her AND take the bat and ball away. Now I am really getting ticked. What the hell is the matter with this kid? Poor Gianna crossed her arms, turned her back to him and looked like she was about to cry. If Gracie took the bat and ball away from her like that, I would have stopped her. But, I was in an awkward position with neighbor boy. Anyway, he swung at the ball a few times, missing each one of them. Quietly, I chuckled! My girl Gianna turned around and said "Well, I don't think you are very good!" Was I ever so proud of her!
A few minutes later, a firetruck could be heard in the distance. The sound of fire whistles, ambulances or police cars always frightens G for some reason, so she ran up onto the deck when she heard it. My husband and I assured her that everything was fine and the firetruck was going to help someone, and she ran away to play again. Neighbor boy looked at her and said "You're such a cry baby." Um, you know what neighbor boy, I am going to give you something to cry about if you keep picking on my kid!
Neighbor boy's Father is the owner/teacher of a martial arts studio. My husband has trained in a different, more aggressive, form of martial arts for years. I don't really get men, and the whole competition thing between them, but it always seems to be there. Anyway, the phone rang and it was my sister. After talking to her for a few minutes, I glanced out to the yard to see my husband doing martial arts with the 8 year old neighbor boy! Fuck! As if that wasn't bad enough, with one sweep of the leg, neighbor boy went down like a ton of bricks right before my eyes. Good Lord...forget the homeowners insurance, at that point, we were headed straight for a lawyer! I hollered to my husband to knock it the hell off, hung up with my sister and summoned him back up to the deck. He said "Perhaps neighbor boy with think twice before trying his karate skills on my four year old!" Someone save me.
So, at this point, it is like 6:45, the kids need baths, it's trash night and both American Idol and the season finale of LOST are on tonight...so I am thinking neighbor boy needs to get on home. Subtly, we try telling the kids to wrap it up, it is bath time. Gianna protests a little, Gracie toddles up to the deck, anxious for her bath...and neighbor boy, ignores us. Then we try to be a little more direct "Gianna, tell neighbor boy you will play with him another time, you need to get your bath." Hesitantly, she makes her way to the deck...and neighbor follows! Crap! He decides to take up residence at the sand table, and is perched comfortably there playing. Gianna sees him playing and starts playing as well. Again, we tell her it is time for a bath, but they can play again another time. But seriously, there was no getting rid of this kid! I got up and took the umbrella out of the sand table, neighbor boy didn't flinch! I told him the girls were done for the night and he would have to come back another time...still, nothing. Maybe he is deaf, I think to myself! So now, I find myself shouting a little. "NEIGHBOR BOY, I SAID I HAVE TO BATHE MY CHILDREN, I AM TRYING TO PUT THE COVER ON THE SAND TABLE...HOW ABOUT YOU MOVE OUT OF THE WAY AND SCURRY ON HOME NOW!!!" No movement. I pick the lid to the table up and start to cover it while his grubby little hands are still busy as can be. Finally, I push his arms out of the way and cover the table, look directly in neighbor boys eyes and say "I don't think you heard me the first 10 times, it is time to go home now. Let me walk you to the gate!!!" Thank God he got up and followed me. I am not sure if I saw more annoyance or anger in his eyes. I am thinking if I wake up with flat tires in the morning, it will be courtesy of neighbor boy!
But really, what is wrong with some kids? Do some parents just forget to teach manners period these days? Are they so self absorbed that they just send their kids out to play without worrying where they are, who they are annoying or when they will be back? I promise I will never let my children grow up to be "those kids!" My girls are far from perfect, but they are well mannered, polite, sweet children and they don't do what they want, when they want. If they did, I may just take up "beating them"...you know, like the wonderful advice I got from the wise one at the 7-11!!
Oh and for the record, I do not call this child neighbor boy to his face! I am simply protecting his identity. Also, I will never beat my children :)
I had to run in to the 7-11 to pick something up. While paying, I attempted to swipe my debit card several times before the cashier took it from me to assist. I said "I am sorry, my kids got ahold of it and bent it a little. Sometimes it takes a few times before it swipes." He looked at me and said "See, that's when I bend it back, right over their head." Um, what?? I looked him, half puzzled, half disgusted. He then went on to tell me that he gets angry about the way the world is these days because you can't beat your kids. I said "My children are four, two and one...they bent my debit card, they didn't commit murder. I don't "beat" my children anyway." He said, "I am definitely going to beat my kids when I have them. If my Dad didn't give me beatings when I was young, I wouldn't be the man I am today."
You don't know how bad I wanted to tell the stupid jackass that "the man he is today" is a mid-thirties, moron who works full time at a fucking 7-11! Not that I have anything against people who work in convenience stores, really...but come on. Someone needs to stop him from reproducing. He will probably beat his wife too, you know, so she becomes the best women she can be.
There is this woman I know, a woman who has impacted my life in such profound ways, I am not sure I can sum her up with words. She is beautiful and funny and smart and wise. She is stubborn and thick-headed sometimes, but makes up for that with her charm and loving ways! She is so thoughtful and caring and loves life like every one of us should. She is a mini-mother-nature, and I am envious of her ways with the outdoors! She sang to me when I was little, taught me to say my prayers before bed, tended to my wounds, both inside and out, and loves me unconditionally. She had a beach house when I was a kid, and we used to spend a lot of time there in the summer. Some of my best memories were made there and I am grateful to have had such a luxury.
She made me believe anything was possible and that I could do anything I wanted with my life. She inspired me to be the best person I could be. For my 21st birthday, she gave me 21 birthday cards. Each once contained an index card inside that represented each year of my life, and she wrote things on each card about me at each age. It is one of my most memorable gifts, ever! (Of course there was money in some of the cards...half dollars in some, larger amounts in others! I couldn't wait to see what the next card said, and what "prize" would be inside!)
She has listened to me complain about every obstacle I have had in life, every heart-ache, every sad moment, every annoying problem I have ever had. This amazing woman was always there to listen. She has also shared in every joy I have had in my life. Birthday's, my wedding, the births of each of my children...she was with me for all of it! She may have driven my crazy singing "It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride...everything, everything will be all right..." over and over again while I was doubled over in pain, in labor with my first child! But, she took every single name I called her like a trooper, and kept right on singing...and holding my hand, and rubbing my head and back and legs! She really is amazing, this women!
She put up with my hypochondriasis for 33 years now, and still answers the phone when I call! She makes me the most delicious vanilla, vanilla cake for my birthday every year! She is a wonderful cook, and I wish I could have learned a little more from her in that department when I was younger! She is an herbalist, a massage therapist and a free-cell extraordinaire! In fact, there isn't much she isn't good at! So what she doesn't have a voice that would win American Idol, to me, it is the voice of an angel...and brings a smile to my face every time I hear her sing. She loves my children with all her heart, and they love her the same. She teaches them about nature, about flowers, trees and plants. About birds and herbs and Mother Earth! She has such patience with them and is so kind and loving. She often makes me feel bad for not being so fun and creative with my own kids!
This amazing woman has five children of her own. Five children over 20 years...I think that deserves a medal alone! She spent hours and hours in labor with some of these children, with no pain medicine and no one there to support her. She had some of her children when "support people" in delivery rooms (or your husband, for that matter) weren't allowed. Ugh, to think of being alone, on pitocin, with no pain medicine makes her my hero! But, she is just that strong of a woman! She has experienced pain in her life that I cannot imagine, losing her Father at a very young age, her Mother AND a son...yet, she continues on, making the best of each and every day given to her. She is strong, brave and I admire her in so many ways.
The amazing woman I speak of is my Mother, and I wish there was a way to do her justice with words. There isn't...she is just too amazing! I am so, so thankful that she is my Mom and I love her from the depths of my soul. I want to wish my amazing Mother a very Happy Mother's Day!
I love you Mom! Thanks for everything you have done for me and everything you continue to do. And thanks, just for being you :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Why is it that no matter how many pair of new socks I buy for my kids, I can never seem to find matching pairs? Seriously, I finally got around to tackling the 7 clothes baskets, full of clean clothes, that I have been neglecting to put away this afternoon. Well, I was supposed to work tonight, but my lovely employer decided to cancel me...which is no big deal, because we are super rich and all. I didn't need that money, no ma'am...not I!! Ah hem, anyway...my babysitter still came over, so I figured I would take the time to put some clothes away. Oh, but not before attempting to pick Gianna up from school, only to find that my charming husband ran my car out of gas, then, backed it into the driveway and it wouldn't start. This is the second time he has done this to me in the last week and a half. I was pretty pissed. Especially since I had to put the stinking thing in neutral and use all my strength to try to turn the wheels on the giant SUV to get it down the driveway, onto the street where the ground is level, and pray it started. Did I mention it was pouring down rain?? Thankfully, it started. Men can be total morons sometimes, really!
Anyway, I got a lot done this afternoon. Went through the girl's clothes, separated out baby clothes, (and yes, I sniffled A LOT while looking at the teeny-tiny newborn clothes that my kids wore!) switched clothes from one closet to another...moving Gianna's older things to Gracie's room, and Gracie's to Emma's. Getting summer things ready and winter things packed away. As I am doing all this, I am building a monster pile of socks in the middle of my bed. My kids forever have on unmatched socks. Not only because I am not a rockstar Mom!...but because the sock monster frequently visits our pad!
So, after dinner and getting the kids ready for bed, I decided to tackle the enormous pile of socks and try to make some matches. As soon as I started, the song "Three little kittens, they lost their mittens..." popped into my head. So there I was, singing that damn song over and over in my head, while trying to match children's socks. Good effing times! I probably had 150 socks, and I think I may have come up with 30 matches. What.the.fuck.??? Where are the others? And damn, I really hope this happens to other people!
I really wish I was "that Mom." The Mom who has everything organized, and clean and under control. I am so envious of the women who cook and clean and have a place for everything. Their children forever look meticulous, their homes are spotless and they are a perfect size 5, or 7...what does it matter? Me...I live in chaos! Sometimes, I think I thrive in the chaos...but I still hate it. I wish I had a weekend free, with no kids, and a organizer freak to come over and help me turn my house into a well oiled machine! You don't know how much I would love to have a place for everything. To have toys in proper places. To have matching socks. To make good use of the drawers and shelves in my children's (and my) bedrooms! A girl can dream, right?
Oh well, for now I will carry on living in my unorganized chaos and vow to buy only solid white socks from here on out!
Recent Comments